so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
