My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
