So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
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