i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
this is an emotional support booty call
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
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