I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
