I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Randomize