Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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