I just cut my nipple shaving
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize