smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
I told him it was alright.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
well, you know. whores of a feather.