Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
17 Subtle Body Language Signs That Reveal A Lot About Someone
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Less talking, more tequila
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
These 21 Declassified Government Horrors Are Unimaginable
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.