i think my tv is drunk
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!