u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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