I wanna bring you to show and tell
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
You may now shotgun with the bride
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Randomize
