I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
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Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
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At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
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