The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
