I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
