Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
