hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
