you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Randomize
