You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
