i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Randomize
