Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
