I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
