TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
All the doctor said was why
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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