Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
