It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
