I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
You were trust falling into bushes
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
