i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
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