God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Randomize
