I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
