I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Randomize
