I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Randomize
