I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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