I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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