maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
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