She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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