His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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