Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Randomize
