Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
