Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Randomize
