it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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