Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Do you remember whose house we're in?
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
not ubering you a puppy
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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