just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Randomize
