Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Randomize
