Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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