I didn't shave. On purpose
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
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