jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize
