rhymes with "ouble enetration"
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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