I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Randomize
