Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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