all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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