Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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