He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
