Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
