I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
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She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
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I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
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