I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Why is there bacon in the couch?
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