HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I think people are normalizing furries
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
