Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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