I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Randomize
