Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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