Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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