Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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